Chewbacca ate my speech final

The following is an excerpt from my final exam in speech class.

question four: name the 8 elements of communication and cite them in an example of communication.

4.  Interactor, Interactant, noise, message, channel, feedback, situation, global/cultural context. 

Chewbacca walks into a bar on the death star and speaks to the stormtrooper manning the bar.  His message is that he needs to use the restroom, his channel is to speak his home language, being polite and trying to use appropriate gestures, pointing around as to show the stormtrooper manning the bar that he is searching for where the bathroom is.  A direct translation would be something like “excuse me kind sir, I desperately need to use your lavatory.  If you could be so good as to show me where it is that would be most excellent.”  It comes out something like this “RAAAAwwwRnnnm.”  The stormtrooper manning the bar encounters a dilemma, the situation is that this wookie needs to use the restroom, but the stormtrooper he is speaking to is from a different culture where the harsh sounds of the wookie language seem hostile (especially when accompanied by the wild waving of powerful wookie arms).  Furthermore he only speaks one language, and it isn’t wookie.  Moreover the stormtrooper has encountered noise during this communication.  The armor he’s wearing is hot and heavy and he has the preconceived notion that wookies are all brutes which must be quickly appeased if one is to dodge a violent encounter.  A self-fulfilling prophesy that is indeed fulfilled as we shall see.  Uncertain of Chewbacca’s message, the stormtrooper’s face responds with an expression of uncertainty, unfortunately Chebacca can’t see it because of the stormtrooper’s helmet and Chewbacca thinks the stormtrooper is playing a cruel joke when he sets a large glass of Corelian Ale in front of him (this is the stormtrooper’s best guess).  Wookie’s don’t have much sense of humor and Chewbacca faces the noise of thinking the stormtrooper is a smart-aleck and the terrible feeling of having to pee like a dewback at a drinking contest.  In frustration Chewbacca’s feedback is rather grisly as pulls the stormtroopers arms from their sockets and proceeds to beat him with them.  The end.

Today

Elliott Smith

I have a terrible paper to write.  It frustrates me to be forced to do work that I find utterly disinteresting.  The American Revolution is boring and it was foolish of me to choose this as a topic.  I wish I was writing literary or film criticism.  But no, like a snale in a salt shop I writhe.

At least there's Elliott Smith to help me find some beautiful place to get lost.

The Old Man and the Hardware

Tomorrow's my last day at the hardware.  The "Ratchet" will be no more... and I'm perfectly fine with that.  I'll miss those old men though, they're really funny guys.  Yesterday, Allan, the 69 year old farmer/hardware employee told me how much he liked watching music videos and instantly recognized 99 Luftballoons when it came on the radio, commenting how much better the German version is.  Another old timer, Dave, told me about drinking margaritas in Mexico and what size pistols are best to carry concealed.  George was just good ol' mostly-deaf George and asked if I wanted a picture of him posing.  He gave me a shot of him triumphantly pointing outward in aisle two with his blue frock on.

I'll miss those guys and I'll miss dancing in aisle seven with Mitch and Travis and sneaking up on Adam like a ninja to throw my black magic marker at.  And of course I'll miss Alice telling me she's going to put her boot up my butt and rolling her eyes when I tell her "if I'm not back from the bank in ten minutes it probably means some young ladies kidnapped me and are forcing me to go fishing with them," and making that same noise miss piggy makes when she gets irritated with me.  Those have all been really good things. 

Quittin' time

I told my boss today that my time in the hardware is coming to a close.  The big moosie almost started crying about how he didn't have enough people and, wah wah wah.  So I threw him a bone and said I'd stay an extra week.

I've been thinking of writing songs more... maybe someday I'll be a rock star... someday.